A few days ago, this overweight pastor, Stewart-Allen Clark of Missouri’s Malden First General Baptist Church, was forced to step down from his position for promulgating sexism, male entitlement, and rape culture. Not by the men who laughed through his contemptible tirade against fat, stinky, non-trophy wife women in his congregation. No, they all sat there and tittered and laughed at his filth. Every one of them should have stood up, called him out, and then walked their wives out. Those men are enablers.
His own wife sat through being praised for becoming a bean pole for him.
Sexism & Male Entitlement in the Church
While this is one of the most overt displays of the mentality of male entitlement in the church that I have seen, I am loathe to say that the American church is rife with a more subtle, covert display of it. Often is it saved for subtle inferences made in sermons, Sunday School classes and book studies, and it becomes front and center in pastoral and marriage counseling. Behind closed doors, the covert becomes overt spiritual abuse and gaslighting. Now, obviously, this culture isn’t in every single church. Since the Me Too movement began, that which was hidden is being brought into the light. However, unfortunately, the American church has a LONG way to go in clearing out the wolves from the sheep.
My Story of Spiritual Abuse
I was abused by several pastors in a similar manner when I sought help during my two abusive marriages.
Some of the ugly things that I have been told behind closed doors, and in front of the man in my life:
- Your husband hits you because you aren’t submissive enough.
- Your husband is being lured into adultery because you aren’t sexy enough.
- If you would try harder with your appearance, your husband wouldn’t be tempted to look at other women.
This messaging fueled the physical, emotional and sexual abuse that I endured in those marriages. The buddy system of male chauvinists was an impenetrable force that I was helpless to fight against, as one lone woman.
This is not the Gospel. This is abuse.
Do you have a spiritual abuse story?
I would really like to hear your story of spiritual abuse. Victims have been silenced for far too long. I’d like to blow the lid off of this and bring the darkness into the light.
TWO WAYS TO SHARE YOUR STORY
Make an appointment to share your story with me, or:
