~~ to the “man” who didn’t see the woman sitting in front of him at the Dr’s office today.
I cried in your office today.
You didn’t hand me a tissue.
You leaned towards me. Your face something between mocking and frustration.
Your voice rose. You would be heard. Your points taken.
Your solutions accepted without discussion.
I cried because of the weariness of my soul in facing a world that isn’t trauma-informed.
I cried because of your insistence that I was resistant to trying your overly simple “solutions”, when I have tried hundreds for months and years at a time.
I cried because my mother trafficked me, once I was asleep, starting at the age of three, to men who were part of the Satanic Sex Cult that my family belonged to.
I cried because I often wake up screaming at night, in the middle of a flashback. I can’t control my flashbacks when I am unconscious, like I can during the day.
I cried because my brain was damaged as a child, and my amygdala is bigger than my hippocampus.
I cried because the success or failure of things like PT often hinge on my being able to get restorative sleep. Without restorative sleep, my soft tissues cannot repair at night.
I cried because the conversation we had didn’t address that situation, and I left with more questions than answers.
I cried because of all of the trauma survivors who are misunderstood by people who don’t see the burden they are carrying.
I cried because it feels like you must see someone else, instead of me, when you choose to take me to task, as you did today.
I cried for all the women you have invalidated in your office, over the course of your career.
I cried for your daughters. I hope they escape being a statistic like the 1 in 5 women who have experienced completed or attempted rape during their lifetime, the 1 in 3 female rape victims who experience it for the first time between 11-17 years old, and the 1 in 8 female rape victims who reported that it occurred before age 10.
If they don’t, I hope you can mount some empathy for them.
PS – Real men, never talk to women that way. Especially ones who have taken the oath to, “Do No Harm.“
Have you experienced medical misogyny? Misogyny is abuse!
If you’d like to share your story on this blog, leave a comment below and I’ll connect with you.
